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Lifestyle |
Ian’s Competition: Update
Yes, we know. This month we were supposed to announce the winner of the Strange Household Objects competition. Trouble is, though, our judge, Ian, is currently in Sweden. We hope he will be back in the very near future. In the meantime, this gives you an additional chance to enter the competition. To find out more, check out the June edition of the Coffee Morning Bugle. So far, a fair few of you have managed to work out what the first item is, but as yet, no-one has come close to working out what the second one is. As a reminder, the prize for guessing both objects will be a bottle of domestic fizz. We are also looking out for any future contributions in a similar vein! |
Multi-Purpose Recipe: Potato Salad OR Skordalia (Greek Garlicky Sauce) |
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In the winter, in a crisis, you could even turn this around and
make an emergency ‘Shepherd’s Pie’ (sort of English version of
Moussaka without the aubergines). It all depends on what happens
to your fundamental ingredients, which are: POTATOES. Now, for the Northern European who has led a sheltered life, Cretan potatoes can occasionally appear to be a bit unpredictable. Don’t get me wrong, the home-grown Lassithi Plateau “Spud” (as we like to call them in the Walter Raleigh Appreciation Society) tastes absolutely delicious—flavour not matched anywhere else; it’s just the consistency after boiling that we find faintly anarchic. Anyway, to cut to the chase:  Start
out as if you are going to make Potato Salad:Wash some potatoes. Peel or don’t peel them (depending on your frame of mind, keeping skins on can be good, adds taste and vitamins, too). Cut them into likely looking chunks. Stick them in a pot with some water to boil. I wouldn’t add any salt at this point, but it’s up to you, and, after all we live in a supposedly democratic society. Be neurotic, remembering that you over-cooked the potatoes last time, prod them with your specially designed ‘potato-testing skewer’ after about five minutes, discover they are rock-hard, go off and make ‘Prawns in Salsa’ in the meantime (Look, if you’re thinking about making potato salad in the first instance, you are planning a great fun evening with a load of friends round your place, it’s not just going to be you and squeeze cuddling up on the sofa watching ‘Midsomer Murders’ on DVD with a LIDL ‘easy-cook’ lasagne). As you’re now old enough to be a grandmother, you will rapidly discover that you are having problems undoing the top of the jar of the (cherished and not always easily found in Rethymnon) Jalapeňo peppers that you were thinking of adding to the ‘Prawns in Salsa’ because your wrists don’t work quite as well as they used to do. Never mind, you gained wisdom instead. Call spouse. If no spouse, find potential spouse fast. Have a brief reality check, get some neurons firing into gear and recall that you commenced by boiling some potatoes. Despite what has been said by Freud, Jung and Piaget (on the subjects of psychological identity / inner peace /child as own direction of personality development etc. etc.) at this point you really should PANIC about your potato salad. Take potatoes off cooker. Drain them, cool them and stare suspiciously at them. If they have comprehensively disintegrated then you will need to follow “Recipe Two: Skordalia”: You will end up with quite a lot of Skordalia. But, who knows, if you get in a bit of fish and ask a few thousand friends round for supper, you might end up being talked about for some years to come. If the potatoes still look reasonably firm then these are the other things you need for Recipe One, Potato Salad: Onions, Gherkins, Dill (see helpful hint below), Capers, Wine Vinegar, Mayonnaise (or yoghurt), other seasoning as required. Rinse the salt off the capers (the capers you buy in jars here are generally preserved in brine, rather than being pickled). Soak them in a medium solution of water and wine-vinegar). Carefully cut up the potatoes (even if apparently viable consistency wise they can still go pear-shaped at the last minute). Chop up newly flavoured capers, onions, and gherkins and cautiously stir everything together. Add dill (seed or weed) if you’ve got it. If not, get dill flavouring from liquid in gherkin jar. Add mayonnaise / yoghurt and seasoning. CHILL (that means you, too). IF POTATOES ARE TOO SQUISHY then move on to Recipe Two, Skordalia: garlic, olive oil, lemon juice, salt and pepper. Mash the potatoes along with the garlic. Add olive oil slowly, as if making mayonnaise. When you’re content with the mixture then add lemon juice, salt and pepper to taste. Whilst traditionally eaten with fish here, the leftovers make a great dip which you can eat with just about anything (except, possibly, rhubarb crumble). Finally: Why not forget the potato salad and start by making Skordalia in the first place? It does taste fantastic (just don’t undercook the potatoes)! |
Non-Stick English: Designer Labelling!!!!
Words
fail us with the labelling that our friend Nigel recently discovered on
the tag of a new pair of shorts: “ZHEN FA sweater see about good,
elaborate cropping, individuation's deviser, the incarnatest, individual
blue-chip timpermamentank unimal magnetism. ZHEN FA have you more
qulchritude elegance.” As Nigel points out, needless to say, the
spellchecker has a lot of fun with this, but for some unfathomable
reason cannot find an alternative for 'timpermamentank'.
Cocktail of the Month: Barracuda |
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This is possibly one of the more challenging concoctions
from the team! Mrs. Beeton Groupies
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