Stella and Shellfish

As we said last month, Stella was going through a bit of a gyratory crisis, and we thought we might have to draft in Cornelius Pointy at the last minute. As it turned out, Stella re-entered the ozone layer at the last minute, and all was well. So, we thanked Cornelius politely for kindly offering his services, but said that at the moment they were not required for the CMB. Well, this male militant mystic was having none of this. He pitched a wigwam outside Head Office, unfurled a banner which read “Save Our Soothsayers” and started singing protest songs. After a while we could stand the noise no longer, and realized that drastic measures needed to be taken. An emergency meeting was called, and an agreement was reached. Though the two of them come from different galactic backgrounds, it was felt that both approaches could be reconciled if they considered the interdisciplinary umbrella of the constellation: “Group Hug”. So now, for the very first time, we give you the combined personality types in the “Stella and Cornelius” chart.
Beach Chair AND Batman: 20th June—1st October
Beach chairs like to please, but are occasionally afraid to express their individuality in public. However, for those of you born under this sign, if you look to your Batman side, you will find empowerment and set your true spirit free.
Sock AND Satsuma: 2nd October—14th December
Socks are nurturing beings, but on their own, they sometimes feel a little bit empty. Embracing your Satsuma persona gives fulfillment. Remember, Satsuma (or tangerine, if you like) goes inside a sock (or it did in our house at Christmas).
Pringle AND Paintbrush: 15th December—9th February
Some of you Pringles out there are deep thinkers, giving everyone food for thought. Paintbrushes, on the other hand, have been accused of being a little bit frivolous and unrealistic, glossing over life’s unpleasant details. A perfect balance, then.

Teaspoon AND Tent-Peg : 10th February—26th March
Again, when you think about it, this combination can only be complementary. There are many good qualities about the teaspoon, but they sometimes tend not to be great at long-term planning—preferring to live hand-to-mouth. Tent-Pegs, conversely, focus on fundamentals, and are very down to earth.
Cement Mixer AND Castanet: 27th March—16th April
Well, this must be obvious. Cement mixers are reflective and thoughtful, tending to turn things over in their mind before taking action. Your Castanet side is your trigger, though: Castanets make instant judgements: about what works - or to put it another way: “It either clicks or it doesn’t”.
Dandelion AND Daffodil: 17th April—23rd May
What’s so different, you may ask? Well we draw your attention to this quotation: “Two households both alike in dignity, in fair Verona where we lay our scene.” This is where Ms McBarking and Mr. Pointy nearly came to blows. Reconciliation came about when they agreed that dandelions are subtle and emotional (Just think of the film “Gone with the Wind”), whereas daffodils are more up-front and in-your face. There is a ‘Doctor Who’ reference, too, but we’ll save this for another time.
Paper Clip AND Ping-Pong: 24th May—19th June
This is ostensibly great fusion—both sides evoking shapeliness. Yet, there can be problems with integration when it comes to career options: For example, the Ping-Pong is sometimes frowned upon in an office environment, whereas the Paperclip tends to under-perform in an agricultural setting. But when paperclip learns not to puncture their ping-pong’s bounce, this combo cannot be beaten!

Two Goldfish and One Lobster….

Whilst here on Crete we have been coping with an unprecedented heat-wave, in some parts of the UK, people have been up to their necks in water. As we reported on the second-page, the heat-wave here has caused tragic loss of life, in the UK, too, lives have been lost. In both cases firefighters have been stretched to the limit—and we certainly don’t want to minimize the vital work that they do. That having been said, we felt that the following ‘goldfish rescue saga’ just had to be included. One of the editorial committee hates to admit it but this possibly could only happen in her birthplace—the City of Dreaming Spires. Firefighters there, along with rescuing people from the floods, have saved a goldfish. The lost fish (probably washed out of a bowl or tank) was spotted swimming down Earl Street in Oxford. Firefighters encouraged it into a bucket, and have found it a temporary home at Rewley Road Fire Station. If they cannot trace the original owner (which may be difficult according to the Station Manager as the fish has not been ‘micro-chipped’), they plan to keep the fish as the station pet, and have named it ‘Pearl’. In a heartwarming follow-up, a second goldfish was also saved by a local resident who rescued it with his girlfriend as follows: “We surrounded it with sandbags and then picked it up with a colander” It is now safely swimming in a washing-up bowl. The couple have named the fish ‘Dean’ (movie buffs take note), think it may be Pearl’s former bowl-mate and are planning to reunite them. The source for this story was the BBC News website “Oxfordshire” section…..
 

As for the lobster? Well, earlier in July, a diver from Wyke Regis had a wrestling match with a giant lobster, which he managed to force into a string bag. This lobster was 3ft (nearly a metre) long and weighed more than 10lbs. The diver, Chris Hovard described his encounter like this: “You’d need a saddle to ride it. I managed to grab it with a pincer movement”. The lobster, which has been named ‘Lemmy’, after the lead singer of the Heavy Metal Band Motorhead, is now on view at Weymouth’s Sea Life Park.