Keeping an Octopus Occupied....

After intensive research, the Bugle team can now give the answer to the burning question that we are sure has been on everyone’s lips: ‘What stops a giant octopus from getting bored?’ The answer, according to the BBC (bless ’em) is: Mr. Potato Head.
The plastic toy has been given to Louis, an 18 month old giant Pacific octopus — currently residing at Newquay’s Blue Reef Aquarium— as part of an enrichment programme. The giant Pacific octopus (note nifty avoidance of using the plural of ‘octopus’ here) is obviously very large. It is also among the cleverest of the cephalopod species, and Louis is a super-brained specimen needing plenty of mental stimulation. Keepers at the aquarium have been using all manner of toys, puzzles and games to try and keep Louis occupied, but none have worked as well as Mr. Potato Head. A spokesperson from the aquarium explained: “We wanted an octopus friendly toy which had a compartment to hide food in. The secret space within Mr. Potato Head allows us to hide tasty treats like fresh crab inside”. Louis is fascinated by the toy’s bright colours, strange shape and moveable parts and plays with the toy for at least an hour at a time. We think you’ll agree that this gives a whole new meaning to ’educational enhancement’.

Another question that may have been causing some of you sleepless nights is ‘Why study kangaroo farts?’ We thank the online version of The Independent (UK newspaper) for enlightening us. It seems that recent research in Queensland Australia has revealed that kangaroo farts may be beneficial in terms of helping to slow down global warming and consequent climate change.
Kangaroo farts are apparently relatively ‘green’ compared to farts emitted by other animals (one could cite the purple-farting rhinoceros as an example if it actually existed), because they contain no methane, which is a far more damaging greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide. On the other hand, methane rich farts of cattle are responsible for up to 14 per cent of greenhouse gas emissions in Australia.
The friendly fart of the kangaroo comes about as a result of special bacteria in the marsupial’s stomach lining. Scientists believe that if this bacteria were to be added to cattle feed, then this could lead to herds with much lower carbon footprints.
All together now:
‘Skippy, Skippy,
Skippy the smelly kangaroo….’

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Mystical Mania: Valentine’s Day Horoscope

Why would we accompany a horoscope with a picture of a plate of salad? Well, as you may recall, in January our destiny divining family (Stella McBarking, Cornelius Pointy and little Luna Tidewart) came up with an all-new cosmic schema for 2008. This led some of our international readers to ask ‘What on earth is a doily?’ We hope the illustration helps to clear up this particular mystery, though we suspect that this month’s love predictions may still leave some of you scratching your heads….

Vacuum Cleaner and Bell Tower: 15th December—9th February
Surprising though it may seem, vacuum cleaners can be very romantic, especially if applied in the right context. If new to love, don’t worry about dropping clangers, you’ll soon learn the ropes!
Fork and Roller Coaster: 10th February—26th March
Forks get to the point when it comes to telling the difference between a brief ‘Fairground Attraction’ and true romance. Steer clear of raking up old quarrels, and Valentine’s Day will be just fine!
Biro and Sequin: 27th March—16th April
Any billets-doux that you send will be characterized by a hallmark of distinction and are sure to raise a twinkle in the eye!
Fridge Magnet and Scooby Doo: 17th April—23rd May
Don’t get too pinned down by sticking to original plans. Relax, let your animated humour come to the fore, and you may well find yourself wagging your tail in delight!
Handbag and Kite: 24th May—19th June
Once you clear out any unnecessary clutter you’ll be able to let those emotions soar on Valentine’s Day!
Doily and Garter: 20th June—1st October
Your doily aspect may not be as prominent on Valentine’s Day as at other times of year. Not to worry, dim those lights and your garter is bound to arouse suspense!
Pineapple and Beetroot: 2nd October—14th December
Pineapples are always great additions to sensually smooth cocktails, though beetroots are perhaps less so. But remember, red is the colour of romance!

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Roman Underpants

Finally, we have a story which may strike a chord among those expatriates (wherever they may be) who occasionally miss home comforts. This summer, the Vinolanda Tablets - which were essentially wooden postcards written by Roman soldiers garrisoned in Britain from AD43 to 410 — will be on display at a new exhibition at the British Museum in London. The tablets, which were discovered some 35 years ago in the North of England by Robin Birley, provide a fascinating insight into life in Roman Britain, and also demonstrate that apparently some things never change. Homesick soldiers’ gripes included complaints about the behaviour of the savage Brits, strange food, bad weather and lack of decent clothing — especially vests and underpants….

Hadrian’s Britain, British Museum July 24th to October 26th. Website www.britishmuseum.org