Volume 2, Issue 1, January 2008 Journalism as never before  

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Handy Hints for Christmas Leftovers

Rethymnon Coffee Morning Bugle - Christmas LeftoversChristmas has come and gone, and we hope it was a good one for one and all. January brings new beginnings, dusting off cobwebs etc. So what to do with the Santa detritus? Here we give you our unique ‘all year round’ guide to using up those Christmas leftovers:

1. Tinsel. Always a difficult one. Can be saved for next year, but in the meantime, whilst it’s taking up space it can always be used to make a nifty scarecrow in your garden (or window box).
2. Fairy lights. Tie something, or somebody up with them. We won’t go much further as this is a family publication so save these thoughts: ‘Flashing’ and ‘Twinkle sprinkle’.
3. Christmas cards. The obvious thing is to recycle them or to make so many enemies in November that you don’t receive any. Failing that, soak in water, make a papier mâché type mix and re-plaster a bit of wall. Look, if you live on Crete there’s got to be a bit of wall that needs re-plastering.
4. Dates and other miscellaneous dried fruit. Get artistic and make a collage. You can always use chestnut stuffing to glue the bits on.
5. Marzipan. Pick a child you like, whose parents you dislike. Colour marzipan with food dye. Package up and send as creative ‘modelling material’ gift for said child (like play doh, plasticine, clay etc.). Effect especially good if white carpets are involved.
6. Mistletoe and Holly. Accessorise, accessorise, accessorise. Hair, clothes, nails, you name it, mistletoe and holly are the ‘must have’ fashion items for summer beachwear 2008.
7. Christmas Tree. Earthquake detector. It will fall over when there’s an earthquake, and the needles will fall out. I see you have spotted a couple of flaws with this one. Not to worry, apparently Galapagos giant tortoises are also good at detecting earthquakes.
8. Great Aunt Mabel (or similar). See hint for tinsel.

Recipe: Credit Card Consolation Food

Yes, we know, it is the season for restraint, new resolutions, ‘Body is a Temple and carrot juice is great’. But also, for some of us it can be a thin time for other reasons. If, as a result of over-spending at Christmas time the bailiffs are removing the last stick of furniture as we speak, here is our ’Oh sod it, what the hell, let’s go bankrupt with a bang’ recipe:
You will need
Cream.
Cognac (and no, Metaxa IS NOT COGNAC).
Astonishingly fine fillet of beef. Lots. Make friends with your local butcher. WITHIN REASON. We do have some ethical integrity at the Bugle, even for a recipe, so selling soul to Faust is a bit of a no-no.
Very good Burgundy for marinade. Good Greek wine is for drinking.
Shallots (chopped finely)
Peppercorns (mixed)
Thyme
Bay leaf
The usual seasoning. 		Rethymnon Coffee Morning Bugle - The Golden PotSouse beef and self. Soak overnight with bay leaf and sprig of thyme. Use partner’s alarm clock and wake up to reality. Make a cup of coffee or tea and get your day together. Flambé fillet with cognac, avoiding eyebrows. At this point you could take the beef out of the pan, keep it warm somewhere and make the sauce using the juices from the beef and the brandy. This leaves the question of the shallots, which we haven’t really thought through. And we don’t want the beef to turn into shoe leather. Shallots could have been sweated using the best butter you can find and swizzled around with a tiny bit of white wine in a separate pan. If you haven’t done this, it’s not a disaster in the grand scheme of things. You’ll cope. Deal with shallots; add cream and peppercorns plus some herby thingys and other seasoning to make the sauce faintly sensible. Bring beef back into play and cook to taste. Serve with gratin dauphinoise, mange tout and baby sweetcorn. Cut up maxed-out credit card and board next plane to Panama. If no credit card, still board plane to Panama. If no plane to Panama, try boat or canal barge to Thrupp (yup, that be Oxfordshire).

Boris’ Special Recipe for Glühwein

Rethymnon Coffee Morning Bugle - CocktailNot so much ‘cocktail’ of the month, but you should be able to keep that festive glow going all through January with our kind Bavarian friend’s special glühwein recipe.
For one serving you will need
Dry red wine (Cabernet Merlot is good)
3 teaspoons sugar (brown sugar is best)
A ‘tip of knife’ measure of ground cinnamon
Pinch of ground black pepper
A slice of orange studded with cloves
Dark rum (Captain Morgan works well)

Heat, but don’t ever boil the mix. Serve in a big mug (that way, Boris says, so no-one can see what you are drinking). Obviously, it is also more helpful to have glühwein in a mug than in a glass when you are doing slalom down the ski slopes….or going ’house-to-house’ in the Old Town of Rethymnon in the rain. Whatever the case, served this way it is very nice indeed.
P.S. Apparently a Danish variation is to add raisins and sliced almonds, too.

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