So it’s Lent. So we have a meat recipe. Obviously we’re still in touch with our ‘acting out adolescent side’. However, after the shambles of last month’s non recipe for a surreal omelette, this is, as promised, a serious cookery thing that actually works, though you might not think so given the list of ingredients. The original recipe comes from a cheap and cheerful Sainsbury’s cookbook by Josceline Dimbleby called Marvellous Meals with Mince (!) by the way (we like to quote our sources and sauces).

Ingredients

Minced beef—decent beef, not frozen, and though minced lamb is very nice, it just won’t do for this one
White bread (fresh is best, and if you must buy mass produced ‘toast bread’ from a supermarket here on Crete, be very careful as some of this stuff is laden with extra sugar, which may ruin the final effect. We nearly had a nasty incident with white bread and some aioli a couple of weeks ago, but that’s another story).
Milk (from real cows, not tins)
Garlic
Fresh Parsley (curly is preferable, but we understand that this might be difficult. You can use flat leaf instead. But if you can only access dried, then try doing something else with the mince)
Sour Cream (standard Greek yoghurt will do just fine)
Tin, or tins of anchovies (you see, I knew you were going to have that reaction, just bear with me)
Flour Piri piri seasoning, or other nice spices
Oil and butter
Potatoes and green beans.

Method

You need to cut the crusts off some of the white bread that you have just carefully sliced. Then pour on a bit of milk and mash it until it gets to the same consistency that you would ideally use for home improvement purposes (plastering, wallpapering etc.). Add the beef and mix it up. Also add the oil from the tin of anchovies. Chop up the actual anchovies with the garlic and parsley, and add to the mix. If you haven’t made sure your hands are very clean indeed, now would be a good time to wash them. Get a bowl of water, and with wet hands roll some balls. Now, at the same time with dry hands, find a plastic tray or similar and spread some flour on it. Season the flour with piri-piri seasoning, or pretty much anything that you think will brighten up your life. And as this recipe would seem to involve multi tasking, now might be a good time to think about finding a pan that is big enough to sizzle meatballs in and getting that butter and olive oil on the go. You’re going to roll the meatballs in the flour, transfer some of them to the pan when the oil is hot enough, and shift some of them to a heated serving dish which you have probably got on the bottom shelf of the oven somewhere under your foot (did we ever say cookery was safe?) whilst you are rolling the rest of the balls in flour, etc. etc. It is at this point that you may start to realize why extractor fans are a good idea, and that ‘smokey grey’ actually works better as a colour scheme for kitchens than ‘magnolia’. If you can get through this experience, then pour the sour cream /yoghurt over the balls. They actually do taste really good. Potatoes and green beans? As the saying goes: “Serving suggestion”.