Grand Days Out

First Aid Tours

The South Coast Gig

Any way you look at it, this is a sure fire winner. Our experience says, do this on Day 3. (Day 1, meeting at airport, mezedes in evening near hotel/homestead, loads of Cretan wine / raki / ouzo etc. Day 2, wander round old town, fish or whatever lunch in harbour—Cretan wine etc. stroll round Fortezza, bit of a snooze and freshen up, then snacks and drinks in your local in the evening). On Day 3, suggest some form of breakfast if they haven’t already had some (spinach pies work well, in our opinion), then hit the road no later than 11 a.m. and drive towards Plakias. If early enough, wander round the Late Minoan Cemetery in Armeni, which is just flaming weird (where was the settlement that went with a necropolis of this size?). You can make a detour to Spili for coffee/ really good fresh juice/ water from the lion’s head fountains. Stop off in Kortaliotou Gorge for ‘ooh-ah’ photos, buy silly hats / newspapers / snorkels in the Forum shop in Plakias, have a drink in the last café on the strip and then drive up to Myrthios for a cracking good meal and ’the view’ at Plateia (see separate ‘lunch therapy’ section). Then drive through Myrthios and take a different route home via the Sellia gorge, dodging herds of sheep on the way. You will probably arrive back in Rethymnon early evening, and then could go the Sunset Taverna to, um, er, watch the sunset, have a couple of ouzos and picky bits (if still hungry) and contemplate the meaning of life. With or without visitors, after over a quarter of a century, our editor (who must have done this route well over a hundred times by now) never tires of this particular excursion.

Two Monasteries in One Day: Arkadi and Preveli, via Gerakari

Could be combined with the South Coast Gig, but tough call. Will involve some repetition of driving through Koutaliotou Gorge on way back home, but you won’t be doing this on Day 4 anyway (more likely Day 5 or Day 6, and Final Day will be souvenir shopping), as based on previous experience, Day 4 may involve writing postcards, and shopping for the ‘difficult to find but essential thing that I can’t live without for a week but somehow failed to pack in my suitcase’. .
Drive up to Arkadi, skirting the ‘wally trolley’ (thanks, Roger) pointing out olive trees and ancient terraces on the way. Maybe explain a little about the history of the monastery, but in this case, perhaps less is more. Leave them to find their own bit in Arkadi, which they will. Have a refreshment stop in the café overlooking the ravine. Drive across the mountains via the ancient sites of Monastiraki and Thronos, towards Amari, stopping for lunch in Gerakari, where more than likely you will end up buying lots of preserves and very strong local cherry brandy. Head on to Preveli Monastery, and let everyone sit and reflect for a while.

Note: if visiting a monastery on Crete, make sure you are appropriately dressed—covered shoulders, and skirts / trousers rather than shorts.

The last date that any of the directors of CMB International Inc. actually wore wrist-watches was June 15th 2004. You may find that some of your guests come from daylight-deprived zones of the Northern Hemisphere, and that they use bizarre turns of phrase that involve ‘rat-race’ and ‘pension plan’. In NVC speak (Non-Verbal Communication, thanks Michael Argyle, I miss you) this may also be accompanied by frequent nervous jerky ticks to focus on the left hand to find out what time it might be in London if they had ever worked out the time difference and changed their clock accordingly. They still do this whilst they are on holiday. These people need help. So here it is.

Lake Kournas is always a good therapeutic start. Fresh water lake, easy simple food, moody mountain vistas, uncomplicated wildlife (geese, ducks etc. no sharks) sledgehammer wine and raki, and if they’re still looking nervy after all of this, stick them on a pedalo (current rates, 7 euros per hour). Argyroupoli Springs also has seriously ‘on the couch’ chill-out powers. Mini-waterfalls, easy food for visitors again (though try the onion and fennel pies for a difference) lush green vegetation, banana trees, plenty of shade and geese and ducks. Vrysses— huge trees by the river - a pit-stop going west to Hania or South to Sfakia. Really fresh orange juice. Geese and ducks. Fodele. East towards Heraklion. El Greco village. Militant women selling lace. Huge sycamore tree. Geese with attitude.